photo: Thomas Ricker, Creative Commons

Let’s start out this blog by playing a little word recognition “test.”  When you see the words in the left hand column vs the words in the right hand column, take note of which words you are more likely to automatically associate with the word “bullying.”

Boy                              Girl

Big                               Little

Playground                Computer

Sticks & Stones         Words

Physical                      Psychological

Face-to-face              Behind the scenes

If you found yourself leaning towards the words in the left hand column, then you are not alone.

Actually, when I think of bullying, images from the movie The Christmas Story flash in my mind, like in this video where the bigger and stronger looking character, Farkus, ridicules and beats up Randy, Ralphie, and friends. However, this is not anywhere near a comprehensive definition of what bullying really looks like for Pre-Teens and Teens these days.

Bullying is much more complicated now then it was even two decades ago.

Here are a few statistics on modern day bullying that might help shed some light on this very prevalent problem:

• 1 in 4 children experience bullying on regular basis (most of which occurs between 6^th and 10^th grades)
• About 30% of kids are involved in bullying on a regular basis (as victim, bully, or both)
• About 77% of all students are being bullied verbally in some way or another including mental bullying or even verbal abuse (include spreading rumors, yelling obscenities or other derogatory terms based on an individual’s race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc.)
• In about 85% of bullying cases, no intervention or effort is made by a teacher or administration member of the school to stop the bullying from taking place
• About 80% percent of all high school students have encountered being bullied online in some fashion
• About 35% of teens have been threatened online

So what do you do with this information?

Advocate for bullying prevention and pay attention to these warning signs from your pre-teen or teen:

• Making excuses not go to school or finding ways around going to school
• Evidence of fear of certain locations in the school, especially bathrooms
• Considering or committing violent acts towards peers (as a way to “fight back”)
• Exhibiting poor self-esteem, depression, anxiety about going to school, and/or suicidal thoughts
• Exhibiting shame or self-hatred in general or specifically related to race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, body weight

If your pre-teen or teen are showing any of these warning signs, seek help from a mental health provider.

To read more on where the statistics from this blog came from or how to advocate in bullying prevention, check out this website.

Mary Overstreet, LAPC, LAMFT

moverstreet@ GROWcounseling.com