It’s almost Valentine’s Day and if you’re single, you are probably ready to up the ante in your search for a dating partner. After seeing all the jewelry, flower, and candy commercials start, many singles subscribe to internet dating sites in an effort to meet that someone special. So, is internet dating for you? Traditionally, internet dating has been dubbed something that desperate people do, but not anymore. In today’s world, internet dating naturally fits into our tech-oriented society.

How to decide if internet dating is for you

Pros:

• It’s estimated that over 40 million singles in the U.S. have tried online dating and one out of five relationships starts online. It seems there are a lot of success stories related to meeting via the internet and certainly a lot of people to choose from on the sites.
• Online dating opens singles up to meeting people in other geographic areas and also simply meeting more people in general than you would normally have the opportunity to meet.
• The internet is always available, so it is convenient. And, this is especially attractive to those who don’t like the bar scene.
• Internet dating also offers a way to narrow down your choices of potential dates based on specific criteria.

Cons:

• Internet dating can be overwhelming and exhausting. Because there are so many people doing it, the choices are endless and sometimes this makes it more difficult to actually make a choice.
• Probably the biggest complaint about online dating is that people lie on their profiles. This can certainly be frustrating and may also seem like a waste of time.
• Like many things on the internet, online dating can become addictive. This can result in people never actually meeting others in person, thus, losing out on the potential to develop community and social skills.
• Online dating can also take a lot of time and begin to feel like a part time job.
• Overall, the biggest downside is the inability to know if there is a spark or chemistry. One must meet in person to determine this. Discovering a lack of chemistry can be very disappointing after investing a good amount of time emailing back and forth with someone.

If you decide to try internet dating, you will certainly be opening yourself up to an entire new pool of potential dates that you would otherwise never meet. For all its negatives, at least internet dating is an attempt to “find a better way” for those who are feeling “stuck” in their dating life. However, it’s still wise to approach this avenue of dating with a healthy dose of skepticism and always keep your expectations in check. If he (or she) seems absolutely too good to be true then he probably is.

Stacey Wald, LAPC, RD

Swald @ growcounseling.com