Dogs, cats, and many other family pets can bring so much joy and fun to a household. In many families pets become part of the family; going on family trips, becoming a part of daily family routines, and playing with the family. Pets quickly become a member of the family and are loved very much.  So, it is a terrible tragedy when a pet goes missing, dies, or becomes ill. Many people are shocked by their response to losing their pet and wonder if their feelings are normal.  Common feelings people experience when they lose their pet include: Shock, guilt, sadness, anger, anxiety, despair, and wishing for a different outcome. Even though these are common feelings there is no right or wrong way to feel or grief the loss of your pet. In many circles the grieving process for a pet is not as widely accepted as grieving from the loss of a family member or friend. This can lead to reduced support from family or friends and less self validation of feelings and complicate the grieving process. It is important to give yourself and others who have lost their pet permission to grief in their own way. Here are some common phases in the grief process:

• Denial and shock – this is usually right after the loss of the pet and usually last for a brief period. Feelings during this time often include shock and numbness.
• Feelings of separation– when people start missing their pet. Daily routines are noticed to be different without the pet. Feelings during this time often include sadness, anxiety, and despair.
• Disorganization– feeling easily distracted and restless
• Reorganization– often times during the end of the grief process when one starts to adjust their life and routines to not having their pet.

Part of grieving is preserving your memories with your pet. Pet owners do this in many different ways; some display photos of their pet, have a memorial service, or share funny stories of their pet. Through the process of grief it is important to have people around you who will offer support and listen to your feelings and your memories.

Attend a Pet Loss Group: http://www.deceasedpetcare.com/GriefAndLoss.cfm

Jennifer Wilmoth, LAMFT
Jwilmoth@ GROWcounseling.com

Resources used:

Kubler-Ross – Five stages of grief

Adapted from- Margo F Weiss. Ph.D. Bereavement and Loss article with American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy.