It is very common for compatible couples to have opposing views on simple to complicated matters throughout their relationship together. These differences can ignite excitement and passion as well as spark anger and frustration. As a couple, you may have experienced some emotional strain that comes with opposing views on where to buy a house, what school to send your children or where you would like to vacation next. Some opposing views that differ from a core belief perspective could cause increased emotional strain on your relationship.
Opposing political views, especially during an election year, could be very difficult to navigate in your relationship.
Below are some strategies to help you navigate opposing political views safely.
- Decide what’s off limits – I would not recommend watching political debates together in order to have a “passionate” discussion afterwards. Political events, tv shows and even going to the voting polls together should be off limits. Focus on discussing topics that you two find similarly interesting and worthy like sports, your relationship, religion, favorite tv shows, food and travel adventures.
- Find common ground – Discuss what it means to be an American with each other, not just a liberal or a conservative. More than likely you will both realize that you share similar beliefs about human rights, environmental issues, fairness and freedoms. Discuss what’s most important pertaining to your relationship values. Are differences respected? Embraced or tolerated?
- Listen to learn – In order to listen effectively there must be ground rules between you and your partner. Name calling, loud talking, sarcasm or offensive labels are off limits. Wouldn’t you like to hear about why your partner feels the way they do about their political views? It may creative flexibility in your views. Give each other an opportunity to express your thoughts and feelings about your beliefs in a constructive way. Remember you love this person, although you don’t agree with them, so remain respectful. The ability to do this can actually deepen the connection you have for each other.
- Acceptance – A healthy relationship involves 2 individuals coming together to form a partnership and NOT one way of thinking and doing. Of course compatibilities are important to the success of a long term relationship as well as a healthy level of autonomy. Acceptance of your partners opposing views without constantly trying to change them can strengthen your bond as a couple. Acknowledge that it’s the differences as well as the similarities that make your relationship unique.
Porsha Jones, LMFT
Pjones @ GROWcounseling.com
