When you think about commitment, how does that make you feel? Does your heart race? Do you feel faint? Do you feel the need to literally run? These are real feelings of men and women who have a fear of commitment. These fears are usually rooted in fear of missing out on other opportunities or fear of making bad decisions.
Although a fear of commitment may show up in many different aspects on one’s life, I would like to focus on the most common one – intimate partner relationships. Ironically the commitment-phobic craves what they fear the most, love and connection.
This vacillating pattern of pursuing and rejecting can be emotionally devastating for one’s lover. Below is a list of 7 signs that you may have a fear of commitment:
1. You have ended numerous good relationships for the smallest of reasons
2. You say yes to plans but look for excuses to not follow through
3. You withdraw emotionally as soon as the word “commitment” is mentioned
4. You have short passionate relationships that go cold very quickly
5. You fall in love with people who are unavailable
6. You are unreliable and lose track of time often
7. You make excuses as to why you can’t commit or “get serious”
If you feel you may have a fear of commitment and you are ready to have the love and connection you truly desire, it may help to seek professional help. The therapeutic process will help you face your deeply roots fears and move past them to live your life to the fullest.
Porsha Jones, LMFT
Photo Cred: Tony Staires