Category Archives: Kids

Denial

Denial

One of our most primitive defense mechanisms is denial. Mark Twain perfectly captured the essence of denial when he quipped,

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

In effect, denial is an effort to avoid the pain or discomfort of reality by pretending it doesn’t exist.

It is the emotional manifestation of the ‘flight’ portion of ‘fight or flight’, the mind’s way of saying, “I don’t want to face what is being presented to me so I simply refuse to acknowledge that it exists.”

It isn’t difficult to spot denial in our day to day lives.

It’s at work in the parents who adamantly refuse to acknowledge any flaw in their child, regardless of feedback from teachers, coaches, peers, or even the child themselves. It’s present in the friends who won’t recognize the problem that alcohol or drugs are causing in their lives.

Although it may minimize emotional discomfort in the moment, living in denial also minimizes our ability to engage with the world around us, hinders healthy relationships, and compromises our credibility.

Jill Howgate
jhowgate@growcounseling.com

The Post Holiday Blues

The Post Holiday Blues

For many parents, the Christmas holiday is a time that they can see their family again. They can have all their children under one roof and operate happily amidst all the noise that was so familiar when the kids were growing up. But then the holiday hustle and bustle stop, the adult children have gone…

The Gift of Failure

The Gift of Failure

Parenthood sparks a powerful, instinctive drive to protect. But, in reality, we do our kids a disservice when we do not allow them the space and opportunity to make decisions with the potential outcome of failure. Like Clark Kent, we are transformed from mild-mannered, everyday people into Authority Figures, Responsible Parties…Tooth Fairies. Without a second thought…

The Promise of the Holiday Season

The Promise of the Holiday Season

In a world consumed with commercialism, it can be easy to lose sight of what the holiday season is really about. We tend to focus on superficial aspects of life and then fall hard when those things crumble before our eyes. Delicious food, presents, and lots of laughs are part of the holiday season, but…

Cultivating Gratitude in Your Kids

Cultivating Gratitude in Your Kids

Many of us today have so much that it can be easy to take it for granted. Especially for children, whose developmental level lends itself to entitlement, it can be hard to maintain a sense of gratitude for the things they have rather than dissatisfaction over the things they don’t. The holidays are often a time…

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