Category Archives: Kids

Helping Your Children After a Divorce

Helping Your Children After a Divorce

Divorce introduces a tremendous change in the life of a child.

For most children, divorce will be the first major crisis of their lives.

It turns a child’s life upside down. How, and to what extent this happens, varies among different families. Young children may not be old enough to fully understand divorce or what it means.

Regardless of their age, helping your kids navigate life after divorce is critical.

Adjustments to changes resulting from divorce, like going back and forth between households, the daily absence of one parent while living with the other, new step parents and potentially new siblings need time, and that time is different for everyone.

Here are a few ways you can help your kids after divorce:

  • Find new ways to be good parents and co-parents despite the many changes and challenges of parenting apart. Your children need clear, consistent, loving, authoritative parenting. You are former partners now, but you are still parents.
  • Never speak negatively about your ex in front of your child. Putting your child in the middle of your conflicts leads to a feeling that loving both parents is not ok.
  • Help your child to grieve. The grieving for the life that he or she once knew begins now. It is normal and healthy to grieve. It hurts to see your child in emotional pain, but it hurts them if you do not allow them to express their own painful feelings.
Every child needs to have the sense that even though things have changed, one remains constant: their parents will always be Mom and Dad even though they are no longer husband and wife.

When they feel secure in that, they can shift the focus of their daily lives back to where it belongs: on being a kid, on their activities, friends, and routines. When parents understand their child’s perspective and honestly act in their best interest, they can increase resiliency within their child and help them thrive during a painful and difficult transition.

Written By: Michelle Rathburn, MAMFT

 

Leaking is a Toxic Behavior Parents should Avoid: Part 2

Leaking is a Toxic Behavior Parents should Avoid: Part 2

As I stated in part 1 of this blog, leaking can have a negative impact on your children’s mental and emotional health. As parents experience the pain, anger, confusion and grief that typically accompany a divorce, children are also experiencing many of those same emotions. Divorce can increase a child’s risk for a variety of…

School and Mental Health: When Parents need to Take Charge

School and Mental Health: When Parents need to Take Charge

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), one in five school children in the United States suffers in their mental health: anxiety, difficulty focusing and social challenges. As NPR has been reporting in their Mental Health in School series, many schools don’t have the resources to meet their needs. That often means that…

Motivation Through the End of the Year

Motivation Through the End of the Year

As the days get longer and the weather gets warmer, you and your kids may start to look forward to summer and lose motivation to keep focused on schoolwork and the routine of day-to-day life. Here are a few tips to get your family through the home stretch! Make time to blow off steam. The…

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