Category Archives: Friendships

Your Child & A Scar – How to Help Address Differences in Appearance

Your Child & A Scar – How to Help Address Differences in Appearance

Recently, I had a mom contact me with a specific scenario in which she needed help for her daughter. Her elementary aged child had recently had surgery and was refusing to go out in public due to her new, very visible, scar.

The young girl was worried how people would react to her new appearance with the scar.

The mom asked if I had any advice to give to help them through it. Although this was a specific request, I feel that the advice I gave could be applicable for many different situations that parents run into with their children. Here are the steps that I encouraged the mom to take:

  • First, affirm her emotions and fears surrounding the situation. I certainly understand why the young girl would be worried about her new scar and how others might react to it. Children (and adults) tend to stare when they see anything out of the “norm”, especially scars. It would be so difficult to feel as if everyone was staring at you… especially because that might be true. Let your child know that you understand why she would be feeling this way.
  • Secondly, discuss the surgery with your child (at an age appropriate level) and help her put a description of the surgery into her own words. Most often, children (and adults) are staring because they don’t understand. Your child needs to feel confident in being able to quickly summarize (in a kid-friendly way) that she went through surgery. Hopefully, her confidence will help answer any question that might come her way and then she can move on from the topic. You can even teach her what a scar actually is so that she can explain that to all of her friends. They might think it’s cool!
  • Next, demonstrate vulnerability for your child and discuss a time in which you felt self-conscious. This could even be a memory from around your child’s current age. Talk with your child about how you felt, what your fears were, and how you were able to overcome your fears and face the situation. The emphasis there should be in overcoming your fear.
  • Lastly, we want to build confidence in our children no matter what their physical appearance may be.

Check out a previous post for more information and tips on building confidence in children!

*Specific information has been changed to protect the client’s identity.

Written By: Amanda Dempsey, LAMFT

 

Create Your Own Luck

Create Your Own Luck

“You’re so lucky!” This phrase gets thrown around a lot when others share good news, big plans, or positive things in their lives. We are quick to attribute positives to luck, while we may be more likely to attribute negatives to our own personal shortcomings. While there are some situations and blessings that just drop into…

Stress & Heart Disease

Stress & Heart Disease

Stress can be poisonous. We’ve known that for a long time, but a recent study linked emotional stress to heart disease in a new and interesting way – via the amygdala. A team of researchers from Harvard Medical School scanned the brain, bone marrow, spleen and arteries of 300 people over the course of 4…

Ways to be an Advocate and an Ally on National Down Syndrome Awareness Month

Ways to be an Advocate and an Ally on National Down Syndrome Awareness Month

I have the best little sister in the world. I’m not bragging though…this is just a fact! She’s kind, caring, a member of the Foster-Schmidt dance company, a huge fan of slapstick humor, and a devoted employee at the Johns Creek Police department. She also happens to have Down syndrome and a bonus 21st chromosome.…

Moving: New City, New Life

Moving: New City, New Life

Moving is hard, but moving through this challenge can make you stronger and a more well-rounded individual. Whether the change is due to school, a job, or just wanting a fresh start, people are moving to new cities all the time. Even if it is a change you are excited about, creating a new life…

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