Category Archives: Family

The Perfectionist Child

The Perfectionist Child

A little perfectionist likes order, rules, and thrives on certainty. Perfectionism can start at an early age and when parents or caregivers give these children the support they need, they will thrive. However, it can be challenging to teach young children how to to deal with the inevitable reality that not everything can be achieved with perfection.

So what does perfectionism in children look like and how can you help them?

Here are just a few perfectionistic characteristics you might see in children:

  • Focusing on mistakes rather than successes
  • Low self esteem, depression, anxiety and anger
  • Being overly cautious
  • Believing there is only one right way to do a task
  • Their inability to tolerate mistakes makes them less likely to try new things or take creative risks

How You Can Help:

  • Model acceptance of mistakes and constructive coping skills.
  • Offer patience and understanding.
  • Assist in modifying or adjusting their internal standards.
  • Teach them to break tasks into chunks and encourage them to take one piece at time.
  • Remind them that you love them unconditionally.
  • Teach them that mistakes and failures are normal and essential steps in the learning process.

If you notice that your child’s perfectionism is really interfering with their happiness, social and emotional development in addition to physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, sleep problems, unrelenting anger and tantrums, or difficulty at school, it’s time to seek help professional help.

Michelle Rathburn, MSMFT
mrathburn@growcounseling.com

Denial

Denial

One of our most primitive defense mechanisms is denial. Mark Twain perfectly captured the essence of denial when he quipped, Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. In effect, denial is an effort to avoid the pain or discomfort of reality by pretending it doesn’t exist. It is the emotional manifestation of the ‘flight’ portion…

Codependency and How to Care for Yourself

Codependency and How to Care for Yourself

Codependency can simply be described as helping others while harming yourself. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you felt as if you were going “crazy?” Have you ever found yourself excessively worried, preoccupied or even obsessed with your partner’s problems? Codependency involves reactions which are unhealthy forms of attachment in a relationship and may…

Could 2017 be Your Best Year Yet? 6 tips to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions!

Could 2017 be Your Best Year Yet? 6 tips to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions!

Imagine your life if you kept all of your New Year’s resolutions. Would you be less stressed, more organized, have more family time, or just smile more? I know I would have consumed a lot less sugar over the years! Setting resolutions for the year comes with great intentions and sometimes a mini pep talk…

The Post Holiday Blues

The Post Holiday Blues

For many parents, the Christmas holiday is a time that they can see their family again. They can have all their children under one roof and operate happily amidst all the noise that was so familiar when the kids were growing up. But then the holiday hustle and bustle stop, the adult children have gone…

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