Category Archives: Communication

Information about communication

Marriage Relationships and Their Healthy Characteristics: Part 2

Marriage Relationships and Their Healthy Characteristics: Part 2

In Part 1, we reviewed characteristics of a healthy marriage.  Unfortunately, when these elements break down, the friendship erodes and the relationship can become very negative. The information that I am sharing with you is based on the work that Dr. John Gottman discussed in his book, “The Science of Trust.”

One of the hallmarks of a marriage in trouble is an increase in negativity.

In fact, it is fairly common in troubled relationships for the negativity to become so permeating that even neutral and positive interactions are viewed through a negative lens. Partners become less receptive to one another’s attempts for connection and either ignore them or express irritation in response.

Unhealthy couples have difficulty managing conflict.

Much of this is due to the increased negativity in the relationship. It’s also common for one or both partners in a troubled relationship to become flooded easily. Conflicts usually escalate into destructive arguments fueled by what Dr. Gottman calls the Four Horseman: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. The most destructive of the four Horseman is contempt.  Contempt happens when one partner takes a position of superiority over the other. When contempt is present, one or both of the partners is not respecting the other. Contempt is the clearest predictor that a couple is likely to divorce.

If these dysfunctional characteristics seem familiar to your marriage, then it’s time to take some marital medicine.  In Part 3, I’ll discuss some options for getting your marriage back on track.

Written By: Jackie Dunagan, LAMFT

 

Awareness in Business With a Diary

Awareness in Business With a Diary

Is keeping a diary really good for business? According to the Harvard Business Review, the answer appears to be yes. Awareness can equal productivity in business. According to a recent study, workers felt increased levels of focus, patience, planning, and personal growth as a result of being asked to keep a daily diary while working on…

Marriage Relationships and Their Healthy Characteristics: Part 1

Marriage Relationships and Their Healthy Characteristics: Part 1

If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ve probably experienced a few ups and downs in your relationship.  But do you ever wonder about the health of your marriage?  In his book, “The Science of Trust,” Dr. John Gottman discusses that, even though healthy marriages can vary greatly in how they look, they…

Grief That Doesn’t Fit In: Part 2

Grief That Doesn’t Fit In: Part 2

In part 1 of this series, we took a look at disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief is the category that covers grief that doesn’t have a socially accepted place to be recognized or expressed. Basically, it is the “ugly duckling” grief that people feel they have to hide because others won’t understand it, will dismiss it…

Motivation Through the End of the Year

Motivation Through the End of the Year

As the days get longer and the weather gets warmer, you and your kids may start to look forward to summer and lose motivation to keep focused on schoolwork and the routine of day-to-day life. Here are a few tips to get your family through the home stretch! Make time to blow off steam. The…

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