In Part One of Decoding Your Break-Up, we explored why break-ups feel so terrible. In Part Two, we will talk about how to deal with a break-up in a healthy, productive way. Time does heal all wounds. However there are definitely ways to speed up and encourage the healing process.
- Take care of yourself. It sounds pretty obvious, but it can be really tempting to do a “break-up diet” or change your life after a relationship ends. A revenge body or lifestyle can be tempting. However it could actually create more feelings of rejection and leave your body feeling pretty unhealthy. Focus on eating healthy and a moderate exercise regimen to avoid over-stressing your body. Treat yourself to time with friends or splurge on a massage. You deserve to take good care of yourself.
- Beware of social media. Social media is great because it can keep you connected. Social media is also dangerous for break-ups because it keeps you connected! While following an ex on social media accounts can feel tempting, it normally just leaves you feeling worse. Try to disconnect and even considering blocking an ex on all of your accounts.
- Rediscover yourself. Try to find the positive that can come from moving from a “we” to “me” perspective again. Spend time with loved ones. Try a new hobby or do the things you’ve always loved. Volunteer and give back. Fill your time with things that make you feel happy and fulfilled.
- Practice gratitude. Try to remember all of the things in your life separate from your old relationship that you appreciate. Being thankful and thinking positively can improve your move and even leave you feeling physically better. Thinking about all of the things you are grateful for may feel forced at first, but it will become more natural over time.
- Get out the negative feelings. Break-ups can leave behind all sorts of uncomfortable feelings like anger, sad, loneliness, and rejection. It is tempting to try to ignore all of those feelings and bottle them up. Bottling up the negative feelings can actually make it more difficult to move on in the future. Instead try to confront the negative feelings head on by journaling, crying, or talking them out. A therapist can be a great resource to process through a break-up and the leftover feelings they leave behind.
Laura Lebovitz
LLebovitz @ GROWcounseling.com
